


When You Love an Angel

by Mysana



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angel Castiel, But Dean is not, Destiel - Freeform, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Fluff, M/M, Not really part of any season, POV Dean Winchester, Romance, True Sight, love is forever, so much as just their relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-06
Updated: 2016-12-06
Packaged: 2018-09-06 23:02:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8772862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mysana/pseuds/Mysana
Summary: When you fall in love with an angel, you must understand there will be things you don't understand.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by a poem by qhote at http://qhotes.tumblr.com/

Loving Castiel will never be easy, Dean learns early on. It’s never an easy laze in bed like it was with all those girls and guys before. When Castiel gets mad, sometimes Dean is scared. Not because Castiel would ever hurt him, but because he could. Castiel could break him so very, very easily. 

Once, when they were kissing, their teeth were clashing. They were scared. It had been a bad week and Dean needed to remember what being alive was for. They were kissing and suddenly Dean was bleeding. It was just a small cut on his lip from too-hard teeth. But. The look on Cas’ face scares Dean far more than his power ever did. It’s despair, and fear, and lose that hasn’t yet arrived. And Dean realises that he will die. He has died. But, one day, he will die permanently. And Cas. Won’t. 

There will be no eternity with Castiel. 

And Yet. Dean will never stop loving the way Cas grows and develops. Dean loves the way Cas will spend an afternoon reading a book and smiling quietly to himself. Dean loves the way, when Cas is exciting, there is an electricity in the room. Dean loves the way that Cas will ask him, without hesitancy, for help. Dean loves Castiel for the way he is, was, and will be. 

Dean runs this hand through Cas’ hair and learns that just because he can’t see the halo, doesn’t mean it isn’t there. He touched it by accident. It felt like sticking his hand in an electrical socket then catching it on fire. His blood is leaking just a little bit gold and Cas looks awed. His hand is healed in moments with Cas’ help but Dean doesn’t notice. Because he has just touched part of Cas’ true form. He’s shaking and he doesn’t care because that felt like revelation. There is no new knowledge, but Cas’ angelic nature has never been so physical before. 

For one moment as Dean had touched Cas’ halo Dean had seen a glimpse of the his true form. It was not human. As such it wasn’t beautiful in a human way. But it was magnificent, it Castiel personified, and it made him think of bees. 

Sometimes, late at night they will ask each other questions. On some nights it will be general, ‘what’s your favourite book?’ or ‘what’s it like to be on Jupiter?’. On rare occasions it is heart breaking in how personal it is. Dean will ask about God, and Lucifer. Not the enemy or the creator, but the brother and the father. Cas will ask about Mary, about John. They will ask each other about what it was like to grow up a solider. It is a terrible story for both of them. Sometimes Dean will cry himself to sleep holding Cas close because he knows Cas doesn’t understand how much a girl he’s being. Because Cas had even less of a childhood than Dean.

They fight sometimes. They’re a couple. It happens. But when it does. 

Dean will slam the door and thunder will clap just above his head. Dean will scream and Cas’ body will stop looking human. His voice will crack glass and Dean’s ears will bleed (which he won’t notice until later). Dean’s voice will crack; the rain will pour down, icy cold. Dean will open his mouth to say words he could never take back and find himself unable to. It will only make him madder. The room will feel oppressive and Dean will feel true despair. 

After a particularly bad fight. Cas had been stressed and on edge and refused to say why. Dean had told him to come back when he had it figured out. Cas disappears. He’s gone for nearly a year and Dean worries about him everyday. Eventually, Dean goes looking for him. He doesn’t find Cas but he finds other things - distractions mostly. At one point he is cursed with True Sight. It’s horrible. He can no longer see Crowley as an enemy but instead an extreme evil to be pitied. 

Then Cas comes home. And Dean Sees him (with a capital S) for the first time. Not just the glimpse he saw so long ago. But an actual view. Castiel is not a being limited by the three dimensions and it gives Dean head ache. It takes Dean a moment to see it but there is a a chunk of black energy on one of Castiel’s… somethings. It’s like a wound but just looking at it makes Dean feel ill. 

“I’m sorry I am late Dean, there was a battle. I had to fight for heaven.”

Loving Castiel will never be easy, but that doesn’t mean Dean will ever stop.


End file.
